Kozma Prutkov

He worked for the government of the Russian Empire his entire adult life, and in 1820 entered military service as a hussar only for the uniform. He worked at the Assay Office (Пробирная Палата) from 1823 until his death, ending up as its director.

These are some of the best-known and most cited quotations from Prutkov: • "Throwing pebbles into the water, look at the ripples they form on the surface. Otherwise this activity will be an empty amusement." • "If you have a fountain, shut it down. Let even a fountain have a rest." • "If you see a "buffalo" sign on an elephant's cage, do not trust your eyes." • "If ever asked: What's more useful, the sun or the moon, respond: The moon. For the sun only shines during daytime, when it's bright anyway, whereas the moon shines at night." • This aphorism is usually associated with Mullah Nasruddin. • "If you want to be happy, be so." • Frequently misattributed to Count Leo Tolstoy. • "If you want to be handsome, enroll in the Hussars." • "How pathetic is any constitution at sight of well-kept ammunition!" • "Even an oyster has enemies" • Often quoted as "Even oysters have enemies" • E.g. Barbara Heldt Monter: Kozma Prutkov - the Art of Parody. Mouton 1973, p. 58 or Jack Nicholson at the 2010 AFI Life Achievement Award ceremony for Mike Nichols (without naming the author Kozma Prutkov) • (Original Russian: И устрица имеет врагов! - No. 86 in: Плоды раздумья - Мысли и афоризмы), ru.wikisource.) • "One cannot hatch the same egg twice." • "Many things are incomprehensible to us, not because our concepts are weak, but because these things are not in the circle of our concepts."