Haim Ginott

This book sets out to give "specific advice derived from basic communication principles that will guide parents in living with children in mutual respect and dignity."

• Name — Haim G. Ginott • Native Name — חיים גינות • Birth Name — Haim G. Ginzburg • Born — 5 August 1922 • Birthplace — Tel Aviv, Mandatory Palestine • Died — 4 November 1973 • Occupation — Teacher • Known for — Between Parent and Child

Ginott was born in 1922 in Tel Aviv, British Mandatory Palestine. He had three brothers. After emigrating to the United States he graduated from Columbia University's Teachers College in 1948, and then earned his master's degree in 1949. He then studied psychology at Columbia University, where he earned a doctorate in clinical psychology in 1952.

Ginott's career began as an elementary school teacher in Israel in 1947. He was "resident psychologist on NBC's "Today Show. He wrote a weekly syndicated newspaper column called "Between Us," and lectured in Europe, Israel and in the U.S. He was adjunct professor of psychology at the New York University Graduate School, and he was a clinical professor in Adelphi University's postdoctoral program in psychotherapy. He was a United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization consultant to the Israeli ministry of education. He also served as the Chief Clinical Psychologist at the Child Guidance Clinic in Jacksonville from 1952 to 1960.

Ginott's approach to child-rearing and education was one in which the parent/educator strives to understand the feelings and mind of the student/child using respectful language of compassion and understanding. He asserted that children learned how their parents/teachers felt about them by how they spoke to them. The following serve to illustrate Dr. Ginott's communications approach. • Never deny or ignore a child's feelings. • Only the behavior is treated as unacceptable, never the child. • Depersonalize negative interactions by mentioning only the problem. "I see a messy room." • Attach rules to things, e.g., "Little sisters are not for hitting." • Dependence breeds hostility. Let children do for themselves what they can. • Children need to learn to choose, but within the safety of limits. "Would you like to wear this blue shirt or this red one?" • Limit criticism to a specific event—don't say "never", "always", as in: "You never listen," "You always manage to spill things", etc. • Refrain from using words that you would not want the child to repeat. • Ignore irrelevant behavior Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish were members of a parenting group run by Dr. Ginott, and state in an introduction that Dr. Ginott's classes were the inspiration for the books they wrote.

• "Rebellion follows rejection." • "Truth for its own sake can be a deadly weapon in family relations. Truth without compassion can destroy love. Some parents try too hard to prove exactly how, where and why they have been right. This approach will bring bitterness and disappointment. When attitudes are hostile, facts are unconvincing." (p. 38)

• "If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others."

Ginott resided at 923 Fifth Avenue in New York City. He was survived by his widow, the former Dr. Alice Lasker, who was also a psychologist and co-author, with her husband, of "Between Husband and Wife." They had two daughters, Mimi and Mrs. Roz Frumess. From 1952 to 1960, he served as the Chief Clinical Psychologist at the Child Guidance Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida.

Ginott died at Beekman Downtown Hospital on November 4, 1973. He was buried in Israel at Kibbutz Sha'ar HaGolan in the Jordan Valley.

Haim Ginott is recorded as psychologist, writer, psychotherapist, educator and teacher.